So...I've been in this weird funk lately..I don't really know why. I've just felt like something is off, but I haven't really been able to figure it out. And besides that, I've been going like 100 mph, so I haven't really had time to think about things...just kinda going through the motions about EVERYTHING...saying incredibly stupid things from not getting enough sleep, etc. We, or at least I, live a pretty comfortable lifestyle...I'm blessed, and i don't deserve it. But I have everything I need. I could probably honestly get by without being depending on God for everything. I know I talk about this all the time, but it's something that God has been bringing up for the past 6 months in my life, and it's an area that He wants me to grow in. I hate it because I really battle with this...I know Jesus wants nothing more than for me to just ENJOY Him, but I go back and forth, between one extreme and the other. ANYWAYS, about this funk..It's been weird..Maybe it's because I haven't been sleeping, or maybe it's because something is just off, but before about a month ago, I feel like I was soo hungry for Jesus, and I feel like everything was going so great, and I had this joy that i can't explain, and anytime someone needed something and came to me for advice or to pray with them, I always knew exactly what to say..But lately, I've just been going off of my own strength, and it's like I don't even know what to say to people, and I've been sooo completely worn out. Everything about my life has been emotional..My heart and my ideas are all over the place...But I need so much more..
But in the midst of all that, I've been reading through the book of Luke because I just want to know what attracted people to Jesus, and how He treated people. This week, this afternoon in particular, God has rocked my world (in a good way :) So, today, I got up at 5:15 and did a sprint triathalon at the RAC on my own, and then I had a slack day at work, so I made a Twitter account, and then my two afternoon classes were canceled. So, me and Colleen were supposed to go up to the church to mail some stuff and do some childrens' stuff, and just annoy everyone there like we probably always do, but we ended up going to this awesome, amazing, authentic Mexican place behind Wendy's, next to curves, called El Rinconcito. They even have a chip bar..nice people... It was so good.. Jon was working out in the sunshine, so we asked him to go with us..and then we ate bolles. Or Jon didn't, but me and colleen did. So, I went home and cleaned, and then I went to Daily Grind for like 3 hours before Bible Study. I read probably the greatest chapter of the bible, in my opinion..Luke Chapter 6....while listening to Sarah McMillan and John Mark McMillan --->http://www.reverbnation.com/artist/song_details/10142 ----anyways, it's all layed out in Luke 6...everything you need. I promise. Go read it. This is what God said to me:
-Luke 6:9: "Then Jesus said to them, "I ask you, which is lawful on the Sabbath: to do good or to do evil, to save life or to destroy it?"
-Jesus wasnt concerned about rules. He was proactive and positive about providing comfort and healing to those around him.
-Luke 6:12: "One of those days Jesus went out to a mountainside to pray, and spent the night praying to God."
-Before Jesus chose His 12 disciples, which was a big deal, he went away by himself and prayed, instead of just acting off of His emotions. He wanted to hear from God.
-Luke 6:23:"Rejoice in that day and leap for joy, because great is your reward in heaven."
-yay! Jesus wants us to enjoy Him and take great delight in every day.
-Luke 6:30-31:"Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back. Do to others as you would have them do to you."
-It's ALL His anyways, not ours.
-Luke 6:35:"But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked."
-Love everyone WITH EVERYTHING you have. I NEED Jesus for this.
-Luke 6:41:"Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?"
-self explanatory. We're so quick to judge others. I look at other peoples' faults, so I don't have to think about my own. Thinking about what it really means to be a hypocrite..
-Luke 6:44:"Each tree is recognized by its own fruit. People do not pick figs from thornbushes, or grapes from briers."
-Jesus wants us to live in a way where others will know that they have to have what we have. They'll want it.
-Luke 6:45: "For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks."
-The heart is deceitful, but Jesus can make it pure.
-Luke 6:47: "I will show you what he is like who comes to me and hears my words and puts them into practice."
-taking time to stop, enjoy Jesus, hearing from Him, and being proactive
.....So, that is what Jesus showed me today, and I'm glad that He brought John Mark McMillan and Sarah McMillan into my life to keep me company while I studied all of this..
So, this is kinda like my "Thankful Thursday" that I copied from Rachael, but I have a lot to be thankful for sooo..
--I am falling more and more in love with my room mates...
--I love how I can be sitting in my room, writing this, and I hear Lady Marmalade coming from Natalie's room and i can run in there and have a dance party...
--I love how I can speak Spanish to Colleen like we're pros..and have crazy moments and extremely awkward moments, and go to daily grind and she listens to me while I talk her head off..and we have the same spiritual gift of mercy, so its just meant to be.
--I love how I've had awesome talks with Natalie, and she is such a good leader, and she won an award tonight..and so did Rachael
--My roommate Karley Weiner (pronounced Winer, not weiner)
--Hilton Head Beach weekends
--El som with Rachael
--I love how I can be so extremely tired, like about to fall asleep, and then i walk into a room and the first thing I hear is "I don't have time to maintain these regrets when I think about the way He loves..", and once again I am in love...followed by some Shane and Shane
--I love how my bffl Bethany Dillon, 7 months pregnant, sat next to me and told Dan that I'm pretty...or at least he told me she did. Thanks Beth!
--My church and everyone in it, and how I am always encouraged
--I love how God wakes me up at 5 15 and I can just go swim, bike, and run and just do my own little sprint triathalon, and then i can eat everything in sight, especially good mexican
--Rebecca Colleen Cowart and Jon Irvan for eating authentic Mexican with me today
--I love how Leigh was excited to run and do Insanity with me, and so now I have an Insanity friend to workout with.
--I love how i have a sweeet, considerate friend like Anna Glisson to bring me donut balls while Im studying, even though she was stressed too..
--I love how I have a super smart friend named Ashley Fletcher that is going to pass all of her nursing classes this semester, because we need more nurses like her, and she believes PSALM 37:4-7 with her whole heart AMEN!
--I love how I have a friend named Daniel Stall who is probably the most encouraging person I have ever met, and has shown me so much over the past 6 months what it means to truly love people, and simply see people with love and mercy and kindness like God sees them.. and always there to call me out when I begin to be negative..
--Unlimited amounts of trail mix on earth day
--Seeing some wonderful friends and celebrating LACEY TOOTHMAN'S BIRTHDAY!
--Luke Russett..for buying my $4 ice cream from IHOP
--the fact that I can dance in my room to Ke$ha "you're love is my drug" about 5 1/2 times in a row
--Daily Grind Thursdays
--I graduate in 2 weeks, but i will NOT grow up
--New TOMS on Monday (even though i had no business buying any more shoes)
--Pool and podcasts
--Kate Martin
--Tammy Gann for being so awesome and for always being so encouraging and teaching me so much
--the fact that I am going to stay in a cabin in the middle of nowhere in the mountains/lake this weekend with 8 of my very sweet friends
--the fact that I'll get to spend the day Saturday with my bffl Beth Moore! and I get to hear her talk about something that came at the best time!
-Im thankful for everyone else in my life too that I have been blessed to see over the past week!
There's more too, but that's about all i can think of for this exact moment...
In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.- John 16:33 NKJV
"Well all I have to say
About these serious days
And the condition of my heart
Is there both still as much a mystery to me
And they both get so hard
When I forget what its like just to die in your eyes
And when I live just to live n your arms
Well they say that a man can never go home
But I just can't get out of your front yard
What if I could be
Something more than me
They say that I got a disease
Of the human kind
Maybe all I know is
In your arms and in your eyes
I'm more than alive."--John Mark McMillan
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