Confessions of a 1 Year Married Woman

So, it's been a year. I don't think I have, or will, ever get over the fact that God has given me this incredible blessing of being a wife. I am so thankful for Daniel, and for how God continually shows His love, grace, and mercy through him and this gift of marriage. When we were engaged, we focused on Ephesians 3:20 for our marriage "Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us." I don't think there is a day that goes by in which I am in awe of Jesus' grace and love, despite how incredibly weak I am. Marriage makes me need Jesus. You can't be selfish and be a good wife, and I'm not exactly the most selfless person I know. 2Corinthians 12:9 says, "Each time He said, "My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness." So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me." I need Jesus to show Daniel love and grace. I have come to the realization that each and every day, I have the wonderful opportunity to show Daniel how much Jesus loves Him....I mean, He chose me for that! That's awesome. When we were married, we knew that we wanted our marriage to be an encouragement to others. We want to keep it real, and figured that maybe it will help someone.

 After May 7th, 2011, our lives changed a little bit. We went to Jamaica for our honeymoon, and then we moved to Anderson together, right when we got back from our honeymoon, knowing maybe 5 people here. It was crazy! While we miss everyone in GA far more than we could have ever imagined, we have seen daily why God wanted us to move here. Moving here has allowed us to really have a "newlywed season" in which all we had was each other for a little while! However, we prayed and asked for friends, and we have found amazing people who have been such a encouragement to us. We both have jobs that we love and are thankful for. God has provided for us abundantly, but to the point of where we know we still have to rely on Him for provision. We bought a house, which has brought on more responsibility and bills than I could have imagined!

We've been fortunate to have been poured into by several couples who have so much wisdom! We joined a church that we would be lost without. We're able to serve there together and individually, and we've met so many people, of all ages, that have built us up and we've had the opportunity to love. NewSpring has been such a vital part of our marriage. We've been able to join a body of passionate people. We have homegroups that mean the world to us. We've been able to serve, with me having the opportunity to do Care and Growth class, and together, in Kidspring! We've also received free financial counseling and marriage counseling that has helped us not go broke or kill each other during this first year of marriage. I could write about how easy,natural, and beautiful every single day has been, but every married person knows that isn't 100% true. Don't get me wrong, this wonderful, amazing life that I have, being married to Daniel Stall, far outweighs anything that hasn't met my high expectations I had pre-marriage. I have had to be intentional over the past year about making changes in my life. I have had to learn what it means to submit to someone out of reverence for Jesus (ephesians 5, 1 peter 4). However, I've been blessed to have a husband that knows that we are a team, and we need to make decisions together. Ephesians 5:21 says, "Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.".

 Learning about my husband is a day by day, growing process, and vice versa. I'm sure he'll probably never figure me out, and I don't blame him. We've had to make conscious efforts to make adjustments in our lives in order to not become too frustrated. Just some little things to mention: Daniel loves going to sleep early, which has been so challenging for me because if you knew me in college, I was the walking zombie that never slept! Daniel has had to learn that it's not cool to just leave his clothes laying around the house. Obviously these are small things, but they still force you to change. Something else that has been hard for me is to take on the role as helper (Genesis 2:18). I feel like I have always been a very independent person, so it's been a transition trying to fit into that role. I haven't always been the most secure person in different ways. I thought that getting married would solve all of that, but while Daniel affirms me more than a normal person probably should, my mind still battles with this intensely!! If anything, it may have even grown worse since marriage! I'm pretty hard on myself, in the way that I look, what I do, the craziness that comes out of my mouth sometimes, and even little things like what I cook. My mind is a battlefield, and it's something that a husband can't help, only me being intentional to follow the word and not my mind.

 In December and January we hit a little bit of a wall. To be honest, it is easy to just go through the motions, take one another for granted, and give into what the world offers. We hit a stumbling block that set us back a bit. Together, we had to change our perspective on some things. I think every married couple is going to have that time in which they have to be honest with themselves, each other, and God, and realize that Jesus has to be the center of the marriage at all times. It sounds so cliche, but we need Him. There was something ugly between us, and we had to take some intentional steps in order to turn it around and allow the glory of marriage to rise above the lies. The following months, we soon found that Jesus really does make beautiful out of our mess. I learned that it's not necessarily about what comes your way, it's about how you handle it. A close friend, and mentor, told me shortly after we got married, that no matter what happens, to hold onto what brought us together and keep that deep in our hearts!!!! I love that.

 I can honestly say that I am more in love with my husband today than I have ever been. God really has made something beautiful out of our messy lives. I am beyond blessed. There is no other way to put it. As I have gotten to know Daniel more, I have seen that he needs my affirmation and he needs my time: quality time, in which he gets 100% of my attention. He has seen that I need his affirmation, as well. Sometimes marriage seems to come naturally to me, and some days it does take work. (I'm just being real). I'm not an amazing cook, sometimes our house is a wreck, sometimes I don't build Daniel up like he needs, sometimes he loses his patience with me (which is rare). But at the end of the day, Jesus knew that we need each other. We are a team, and I truly do feel like the best is yet to come for Daniel and me. We have dreams...the same dreams that we discussed before we were married, but they are starting to develop here in Anderson.

 I figured I would wrap this all up by stating some things that make me adore Daniel even more... Daniel loves Jesus, and he is a leader. He makes time to get up extra early with me and spend time together reading and praying. I feel like he has more and more of a desire to do this every day. He has goals for his life and our life together. He wants to make peoples' lives better, and he wants to help people help themselves. His goal is to ultimately have a ministry called "Go Love" started in which really cool fabric bracelets are sold to raise money. It's a long story, but it is something that he has been trying to start with his best friend, Matt, from Statesboro. He serves at church. He serves in a ministry through KidSpring, called Spring Zone, where he gets to usually hang out one-on-one with a kid and pour into them. I saw how good he was at it, and his love for those kids was so contagious, that I started serving in the same service as him. It is such an amazing feeling to look and see him pouring into kids. He is also the guy at target/walmart that you'll see talking to all the kids. This could look like a creeper, but I promise he's not. Last, but not least, Daniel works so hard to provide for us. He has goals within his job, and he has already taken steps to pursue those goals. He works hard, and I am so appreciative of that. It is only because he works hard, that I am able to work less than 30 hr./week and I am able to volunteer during the week at church. I will never take that for granted.

 Anyway, thank you to everyone who has poured into us during this 1st year of marriage. We are forever grateful for you. "Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us."--*Ephesians 3:20*