*Sun Stand Still*

I believe with all of my heart that right now, God is showing me, over and over again, one of the biggest and most important/life changing things He has ever shown me. For the past four years of my life, I really have had no problem at all, sharing with whoever, about who God is to me, and what He has done in my life, and how it is only because of His loving, incomprehensible grace that I am even here. Maybe it is because I like to talk a lot in general, but I would be excited to talk to anyone..…except for..…..my family. It's tough…really tough for me to just be confident with them about what I believe, and I have continually, for the past four years of my life, avoided it when I could help it. They have seen me as an example, and they know why I am so much different now than I was, but for the most part, I have never made steps to voice strongly to them what I believe.

Well, God has gotten my attention once and for all, and it is through a crisis. My parents are in the process of getting a divorce. On Sunday, July 25th, my mom called me and told me that my dad left home. I was really upset, but pretty confused, because the day before, both of my parents came to Statesboro together to have lunch with me and see my new house. I've always known that my family was pretty dysfunctional in that my parents never really acted like they were in love, but I figured they made it 24 years, so they would never get a divorce. To my knowledge, nothing extreme has happened, as far as like an affair or anything. It's really sad, but from what I have been able to tell, the main reason seems to be because of money and responsibility. As of 2 weeks ago, my mom has filed for divorce, and my dad has moved out "for good," which pretty much means that he is homeless and living wherever he can. There are a lot of really really nasty and just awful details about things they have said to me and to each other, and I could write for a really long time about it, but that isn't the he purpose of why I am writing this.

In the midst of a nasty situation like this, God is so faithful. I cannot say it enough. It has taken a crisis for me to see just how badly I want my parents to know the same Jesus that I know, and I want them to find their happiness and fulfillment in HIM alone. For the past four years, I have made a choice to try to give everything I have to the Lord, but speaking that truth to my family is an area that I have had a really hard time with. Well, because of everything that has happened, I have said things and done things for my family that I would have never done. My parents and I have had some intense conversations, and I have just felt this overwhelming peace the whole time that the best is yet to come…This sucks right now because my family is falling apart, so I can't really tell you why I feel that way, (or maybe I am just oblivious) but for the past couple of months I have felt that although this is NOT where God wants my family, my family is for once, really really broken and desperate…and that is allowing them to see what they have been missing out on. I have talked to them everyday, and I have talked to my dad more now in the past 3 months than I have total in the past 10 years of my life. I have been praying for healing in their lives as a whole, not just their marriage. My mom has been going to church in Savannah at Savannah Christian. Daniel and I went with her the first time, back in the beginning of August, but she been going back every Saturday night, and I've been able to show her different things she should read, and she has even asked questions about it. But most importantly, I have been able to just completely lay everything out on the table with her, and it has led to really really emotional, yet peace-driven conversations. The last time I was in Savannah, (about a week ago) i was able to explain to her why God hates divorce: not because He just wants to make rules up, but instead, for our good, and because it is devastating to tear a family apart. God knows that my parent's divorce is more than a failed marriage that seems inconvenient. It's about two broken, devastated, unhappy lives, and divorce will only make it worse in my parent's situation. In Mark chapter 10, Jesus talks about God's purpose for marriage, and He says very clearly that what He has joined, let no separate. Matthew 19:9 says that divorce comes from a hard heart, and divorce is not the answer in my parent's situation My mom can't even explain why she wants a divorce except because my dad started it by leaving, and so she is ending it..even though he wants to mend things. They both have faults, and they are both not happy, yet they are unwilling to admit that they need to fix their own lives before they work on their marriage. My mom thinks she is happier now than she has ever been, but i know that if they do continue to go through with this, she will wake up one day in a big empty house, all by herself, and she will realize that she was never happy to begin with. I think that although my parents won't admit it, they are slowly but steadily seeing that they need to fix their individual issues, and that they are both not individually happy. I am also upset for my little brother, who is 17, and a junior in high school, and he has to actually be there in the middle of all of this. But I feel confident that God is going to change his life through this as well. I love my brother, and I think he is the greatest thing in the world, and he has soo much going for him with football, but even I don't tell him enough how much he means to me.

Well, like I said, so much has happened with my family in the past couple of months, and on the one hand, I am just blown away by the peace the Jesus has given me.. I know that somehow, God is going to make this situation into a testimony to show people who may have lost faith, or never had any to start with, that our God is capable of changing anyone's life. On the other hand, I have been frustrated with myself for not making more of an effort a long time ago. I didnt talk about it too much at first, simply because I just blew it off, and I kept thinking everything was going to be ok and that this was just a bad dream. However, more and more awful things have been said about the other, and I am learning sooo much information about my family that after all these years, i never knew. I have told my parents over and over again that I would never be angry with either one of them..even if one of them would have done something really bad and hurtful to the other, i would still never be mad. However, it is just really difficult because for so long, I have looked up to my parents, and I have respected them as adults, not because I was raised to, but because I had a lot of admiration for them. However, now, this whole ordeal has made them into people that I know they aren't. They have both said awful things about each other, and comments have been made about how this is all about to get pretty ugly when it comes to money and responsibility. My dad has told me some of the things that his lawyer has told him to do and say, and it makes me sick. My mom is numb, and won't go into details about it with me (but I'm 100% sure that she is having a breakdown when Im not around) and my dad will call me to talk to me about it for 30 minutes to an hour every 2-3 days. Both of my parents have been pretty open with me about serious emotional issues they're dealing with right now, but neither one of them are getting help, which frustrates me, because I have seen soooo many people get help for situations like this, and it helps them to be healed. It's not fun to see people that you care about and think so much of go through this, and it has put a really really heavy burden on me because the two people that i love the most and I want to know Jesus the most are doing and saying things that are way out of character,..its a burden that I attempt to give to God every single day, but is difficult for me because I want to fix all of it. I havent been trusting God (even though I say I have). I need to realize and act on the fact that I have, and am continuing to do all I can do, and so I need to trust God with the rest. But I haven't been asking God. I've been relying on myself. I am so thankful for the people in my life who God has spoken through to me lately, and God has especially used Daniel in my life and my family's lives. The thing that I have been realizing the most is how this has shown me how much I am affected by people who are hurting in this world. This kind of thing is going on all around me, and I have taken on the burden from my family because I don't want them to jump to conclusions or tear each other down anymore.

so, im sorry if this seems sad, but I hope you'll read this part, because this is the whole point of me writing this….

Have you ever felt like God keeps telling you something over and over again…and it starts out by Him just like nudging at your heart, and then he keeps knocking louder and louder, and then it's just like "omg wake up and listen to me so you can live like how I want you to??!!" Well, this whole time with this situation with my parents, I have been just pushing everything off. I keep telling everyone that I am ok, and I keep telling my friends that I have faith that God is going to somehow be glorified through this, and He is already doing so much because of how my parents are seeing how bad they need something bigger than themselves, and how it has opened up a door for me to talk confidently about what I believe. But with that said, I have acted like I have given all of this over to the ultimate comforter, Jesus Christ, to handle it, but I have not, and God showed me that very clearly this past Sunday. I drove up to Anderson, SC to surprise my aunt at church because she was getting baptized! (which is another amazing, awesome story that shows the glory of God) But I was pretty excited because of what was going to be preached at church that morning.--->about Joshua 10, when Joshua led the Israelites to defeat the southern kingdoms because they were planning to go into battle against the Israelites. They needed more time in order to fully defeat the Amorites, because if the sun went down, then they would get away, so Joshua told God to make the sun stand still so that the Israelites would be able to be victorious. Because Joshua asked for it, the Lord worked it out in His favor, and His power and His glory was shown. In Joshua 10:8, god tells Joshua to not be afraid of them because He had already given them into Joshua's hands. Joshua had the audacity to ask, and God had the ability to act. God made the sun stand still for Joshua, and He can still make it stand still in this situation, or any situation.


The name of the series is called "Sun Stand Still" and it is based off of Steven Furtick's book. In fact, he was there to present the message. Anyways, while he was talking at newspring, I got this vision that God wants to heal my parents' lives, but He wants me to actually step up BOLDLY and ASK HIM. I need to start asking God to do what seems impossible. God has been telling me that, louder and louder, over and over, for the past several weeks. I want to be a part of God healing my parents and their marriage, and I know that the next step in this is for me to be asking God for it, not just going through the motions by saying this isn't good, but everything is going to work out the way it is supposed to. I know that God is wanting me to ask Him, and I believe now that God wants me to do everything I can and ask Him to do what only He can do. God made the sun sand still for Joshua and the Israelites. I think He is big enough to heal my family. But as Christians, we need to be willing to stand out and have audacious faith that isn't scared to ask anything. It's a lot easier to ask for God's glory to be on other nations and people who we may not yet be exceptionally close with, and many of us will even be willing to actually "go" and be used to make other disciples. But I am learning that God wants us to ask Him in the same way for the people who may be closest to us.

I know we all have things we are faced with everyday, and sometimes, it seems "normal" to just accept the world as it is, but I firmly believe now, with all of my heart, that God will do so much more when we ASK HIM. Time is running out though.We have to get to a place in which we know that there is nothing too big for God to change or heal, and we have to come to the realization that God is just waiting on us to ask Him for change. I know there are people all over who have a lot bigger issues than a parent's divorce, but there is NO LIMIT to what God can do. We need to start acting like we have confidence in our God to do the impossible. This is what has happened for me to see that I need more faith I have a whole new outlook on this now, and I hope that you will join me in praying with audacious faith for our world, including those closest to us, to see the greatness of our mighty and powerful God. I know that there are bigger issues out there than my parents' divorce, but that is what has inspired me to ask God and be completely dependent on Him to deliever my parents out of this mess. My vision has grown, and I can't wait to see how God can use me in this. To be honest, I'm intimidated though because this really does seem impossible and I am worn out from talking to my family and hearing these awful things. But God is calling us to pray without ceasing. I need more of Him. I need Him to come through, and I am waiting in expectation, and I know that He will prove glorious. God didn't call us to survive the world, He called us to change it for His glory, and that includes those closest to us.

Love-Alison

**"In the morning, O LORD, you hear my voice;
in the morning I lay my requests before you
and wait in expectation."--psalm 5:3**

When we are weak, He is strong.

"O sun, stand still over Gibeon, O moon, over the Valley of Aijalon." --Joshua 10:12